Day 7

One week to go.  This is my last Tuesday in Iraq ever.  Coool.

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kb, billy, and tom all suggested I post about Roger Clemens.  Here are my thoughts:

I don't begrudge the guy for wanting all that money for 1/2 a season.  I do begrudge him dragging out the process and savoring the attention.  He should have signed for a team in the offseason instead of serving as a distraction for 1/2 the year.  I wish he would have signed with the 'stros.  I don't know why he thinks the Yankees have a better chance of winning it all than the Astros.  All that said, the guy is a proud Texan and a Longhorn legend, so I could never stay mad at him.  I still love him, just don't like him very much right now.  I felt like his loyalty to his hometown and home state should have trumped his desire for money and another ring.

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Ojo suggested a post about the NBA.  Since the Raptors are out of it, I just don't care abut the NBA anymore this year.  All I can say is that the playoffs are proving that defense is what wins. 

Ojo also suggested a "First Week Home" post.  This is what my first week back in the states is gonna look like:

1. Th 5-31- Fly in, Parents pick me up at the Austin airport at 9pm.  Go have dinner and maybe a few beers with Robo and Pops (and possibly whatever Austin friends want to meet up), crash at the hotel w/mom and dad.
2. Fr 6-1 - Drive up to Dallas for llogg's med school graduation.  I don't really know what we have planned but I assume we'll be hanging out with my neice a bunch which I'm looking forward to.
3. Sa 6-2 - llogg's med school graduation.
4. Su 6-3 - Say goodbye to llogg, M*, and Phenie.  Drive back to Victoria with the folks.  I guess I'll probably have to go to church.
5. M 6-4 - Sleep late.  Get up, look on internet for Jeeps, read the paper, eat breakfast.  Shoot baskets in my parents' driveway.  Borrow mom's car and drive into town to get some lunch.  Visit my grandparents.  Call townie friends/relatives to see if anyone wants to get beers.  If so, go to bar; if not, go home and watch sports and drink beer with Dad.
6. T 6-5 - See previous day.
7. W 6-6 - See previous 2 days.  Set up Jeep viewings and test drives.
8. Th 6-7 - Wake up early, get compiled list of Jeeps, go to Austin, Houston, and/or San Antonio and look at and drive Jeeps.  Hopefully find a Jeep and be able to hang out in H-town or Austin and party.

That's pretty much my first week.

Ojo also suggested "Estimated amount of consumables b/w June and August 2007".  I don't know what this is really getting at, but I'll assume he was hinting at a list like this one:

Predicted June, July, and August for Snakeyboy, by the #s:

• Beers drank: 527
• Shots taken: 21
• Scotch and sodas: 14
• Days fishing: 13
• Boxes munched: 3
• Chic-Fil-A sandwiches: 18
• Dollars Spent: $34,640 (including Jeep and home down payment)
• Average hours slept per night: 9.3
• Drunken mistakes: 17
• Fast food hamburgers: 20
• Enchiladas: 18
• Homes bought: 1
• Hangovers: 38

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llogg asked about estimated masturbation reduction upon return home.  Hmmm.  Well, factoring in that I'll be living with my parents for two months, and factoring in that I don't have a girlfriend waiting for me, I can't really say.  I mean, it'll be definitely reduced (I couldn't beat off more than I do now if I wanted to), but I don't know how much.  I'm going to aim high and say a 38% reduction in average daily self-induced orgasms will result from leaving Iraq.

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Ally got deep and asked several personal-ad/interview type questions.  Here goes:

Do you have any thoughts about what you'd like to do professionally when you return to the US?

I'm still debating on what to do, but it's long been narrowed down to 3 careers: 1.) get a master's degree in education and teach high school, 2.)be an actor or musician, or 3.) start a business.  If I had to guess, I'd say I'll end up doing some combination of 1 or more of those over the next 2-3 years.

Which political party do you most identify with?

I hate politics and I don't vote, so I'd say I don't identify with either of them, but here are some of my political stances:

• Pro-life
• Against gay marriage
• Pro environment preservation and alternative fuels
• We have got to get off the fucking oil.
• Pro states' rights (imo as many decisions as possible need to be made by the smaller govts)
• Tend to lean more toward the Dems on foreign policy
• We need to balance the FUCKING BUDGET. So...
• Pro tax increase, pro govt programs decrease
• Anti US as "world police"
• Pro health care research (it's out there, let's fucking find it)

What are you going to miss (assuming there is something) about Iraq?

Here is what I'm going to miss about Iraq:

• 6 figure income for doing an average of 30 minutes work per day
• Some of the people
• Having all the little things taken care of (free food, free room, no bills, laundry, etc.)
• The feeling like you're doing something big and unique with your life.
• Having a concrete, short-term, time-related goal always there.
• Loads of free time with nothing to do.

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Finally, Roy's questions.  My last day of work is technically on Monday (I will clock in a full day), but I will probably take most of that day off to finish packing, take pictures of the base, and say goodbye and all that.  To be honest, I haven't worked a full busy day in weeks.  This coming Sunday will probably be the last day I work a full productive 12 hours.

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Ok, I've got a Star Wars marathon to start.

"Ok I don't make films, but you can imagine what it'd be like.."

Comments

[kb]

Parts of this post that made me LOL (in decending order):

1) "Ok I don't make films, but you can imagine what it'd be like.."

2) Boxes munched: 3

3) 38% reduction in average daily self-induced orgasms will result from leaving Iraq

4) 6 figure income for doing an average of 30 minutes work per day

[Ojo Rojo]

1. Spurs win it all.
2. I'm still strongly suggesting that you reconsider buying a Jeep.
3. That was exactly the list I was talking about.
4. If you drank that many beers over that period of time that would be an average of nearly six per day.
5. You need to get a solid girlfriend SOON. If I were you I'd match.com it.
6. Politics. Hmmm. Surprised at some of your answers. So are you in favor of making abortions illegal? Why against gay marriage? I like our brand of federalism. I wouldn't mind the U.S. being the world police, but not our PC brand of it. If we were going to do it right I would elect going Roman style.

[matt k]

For me, 38 hangovers equals 38 drunken mistakes and 38 fast food hamburgers. I feel you may have low-balled those two a bit.

Since you are living with your parents for two months, you should crash on Ojo's couch and work the Houston midtown co-eds to raise the "boxes munched" figure to double digits.

[allbilly]

very good post.

you should add...."REGISTER TO VOTE" on your list of things to do.

It's bad karma to have made mad jack "helping expand democracy" and not vote when you get home.

[llogg]

No mattk the other 21 drunken chics he bangs are not going to be mistakes. Also, it should be 38 Whataburger taquitos instead of fast-food hamburgers.

[Snake Diggity]

kb: glad you got a laugh.

Ojo:
1.Could be
2. Sorry bro, done deal.
3. Sweet.
4. Yeah, it's probably a pretty accurate estimate.
5. Agree; all avenues will be explored.
6. RE:Abortion--it's all about when you think human life begins, and at what point you think that human life deserves protection under the law; I think the current law allows abortion past these two points. Definitely not vehement on it by any means. RE:gay marriage--there's 2 kinds of gay: the dudes who bite pillows in his bedroom at home, and the dudes who bite them out on my front lawn. The first kind you tend to ignore...the second kind you're kinda forced to deal with. What I mean is, it's cool to do whatever it is you need to do...but you ain't gettin a fucking tax break for being gay. RE:world police--it's time we shrink up a little and repair our rep.

Matt: I've actually been able to get drunk without makind mistakes; it just requires I have zero access to telephones, computers, and women. And believe it or not, I'm going to be trying to keep the boxes munched to a minimum.

billy: haven't decided if I'll ever vote or not. I don't owe anybody anything.

[kb]

btw, how good of a feeling is it not to owe any body anything? I can't wait for that day.

[roy]

i would've liked to hear your thought process behind a few of those #s...b/c i bet you actually thought each one out rather than just throwing random #s in there.

i'm with matt k on the 38 mistakes and burgers...you've gotta make up for lost time.

[allbilly]

I didn't say you owed..i said it was bad karma. Plus, think of it this way, if you fancy yourself even remotely informed or intelligent and you don't vote, then you are letting stupid people have a bigger say in our country than you do. But whatever. If you want to be apathetic, go ahead.

As for Ojo wanting you serious soon. Since time has stood still would it be worth considering just normal dating. Cause you just got out of a relationship....with the time standing still idea.

Matt K has sound advice on midtown coeds...he used to live amongst them.

[tom]

* Pro-life
I agree, but I think any laws about it are wrong. This should be considered a great sadness (when used as a type of bc), but not made illegal.

* Against gay marriage
Whether you are or aren't against it doesn't matter. In my opinion, it shouldn't be illegal.

* Pro environment preservation and alternative fuels
Agree, but in a very minimalist manner. Don't spend tax money on dumb shit like protecting the spotted owl, for crissakes.

* We have got to get off the fucking oil.
Agree, and once again I think it should be a cultural thing, not a government thing, that does it.

* Pro states' rights
Absolutely agree. The notion of having 50 different legal configurations is very cool. It allows for microcosmic competition between the states, and it allows citizens to find the state with the configuration that fits them best.

* Tend to lean more toward the Dems on foreign policy
Both parties are completely fucked in the head at the top, but have members who I agree with. Ron Paul -- a republican congressman and ex-libertarian -- has the best foreign policy platform and voting record that I've seen.

* We need to balance the FUCKING BUDGET. So...
Agree.

* Pro tax increase
Absolutely disagree. This will hurt our nation's economy, not help it.

It is akin to a business saying, "We're not making enough money selling widget X -- I know, raise the price!" Depending on the market, sales of widget X will drop in response to that increase.

Better instead to make the production of widget X more efficient and DROP the price of widget X.

* pro govt programs decrease
Absolutely agree. See "making the production of widget X more efficient" above.

* Anti US as "world police"
Absolutely agree, with a couple caveats and gotchas.

* Pro health care research (it's out there, let's fucking find it)
Assuming you're saying two things here:
1) Pro universal health care
2) Pro govt-funded medical research (stem cell research, etc.)

I'm basically with you on both of those points, although in a massively minimalist and/or privatized way.

I guess where you and I disagree is that you don't have any problem with the government being heavily involved in what you can and can't do -- mostly because who you are doesn't run afoul of the status quo. This makes you essentially a conservative, although with a couple mild hiccups that are somewhat non-conservative.

If your viewpoints remind me of anything, actually, they remind me of how my wife's most zealous Catholic aunt would vote. With the Pope, basically: anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-war, pro-tax, pro-bureaucracy. Hardcore Catholics don't have the built-in Protestant fear and mistrust of big organizations -- their spiritual wellbeing is guided by an bureaucracy that is vast and many-tiered. So the notion that a government could collect tax dollars (tithes) and use them efficiently is probably easy for them to believe.

[llogg]

Tom wins for best use of an oxymoron with "massively minimalist".

Snake: how would recognizing gay marriage be a tax break for being gay? Why should there be a tax break for being hetero?

[Snake Diggity]

kb: debt free is a good thing; won't last long though. As soon as I buy a house, I'm right back in.

roy: they're 1/2 logic, 1/2 random. I did put pen to paper though.

billy: agree about normal dating for awhile.

tom: wow. Zealous. Catholic. Aunt. Thanks for the complimentn't.

ok. that concludes the religion and politics discussions involving me for, oh, I don't know, EVER.