Day 4

Wow.  This shit is getting real.  In 95 hours, I'll be out of Iraq forever.  Dang.

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My going away was last night, and it was kind of weird.  These things have a pretty routine schedule.  First, the person who's leaving's boss gets up and says some good things, then people around the room stand up and either say something good or roast the person.  Then, the Project Manager presents them with a certificate, followed by the person giving a speech.  Then everybody eats, takes pics, and hugs the person leaving.

Well, my boss got up and started it off about how I am a nice guy, soft heart, go-to person, etc., etc., etc.  Then, she was like, ok now we'll open it up to whoever has something to say.

This guy Robert stands up and starts off "Well, when Jake first got here, he had a girlfriend and a dog..." Oh shit, I thought, this can NOT be good.  I piped up with "Robert, tread lightly my friend."  But, no worky.  He proceeds to tell a story about how horrible my relationship was when I got here and how I was screaming at Maddie in front of my entire office every night, calling her every name in the book, about my dog and a bunch of other personal shit.  There wasn't even a punch line.  The crickets were unbearable.  I'd like to say that the "roasting" got a lot better after that, but I'd be lying.  The next three people who stood up all said pretty much the same thing, which would be "Basically, Jake is the most negative person I know, but he's funny as hell."  My boss's boss, who doesn't really know me, came up to me afterward and was like "Son, maybe it's a good thing you're going home."

That's not to say it was all bad.  In order to stop the agony, I got up and roasted myself, telling the story of how I donned my entire Nuclear Biological and Chemical suit WITH gas mask, filters, duct taped banana suit, the whole deal, on my 3rd night here when they ran a test of the alarm system.  It killed.

And several people did get up and say that I always brightened their day, was one of the sharpest minds on camp, and was very capable and helpful.  I thought one person in particular summed me up pretty good:

"Jake is the only person I know who can brighten someone's day by being completely negative.  He is always a good laugh.  He is the type of person who you know does NOT want to work, but if you ask him to do something, anything, he will get it done, and done right.  He has a low tolerance for stupidity and laziness, but as soft a heart as I've ever seen.  I'd take a team of all Jakes any day and twice on Sunday."  I took all that as a compliment, backhanded or not.

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Astros lose.  Albers, you can't give up that many runs dude.  We won't win if you do that.

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I've already got my post topics for the last 3 days of SDB:

Tomorrow: Star Wars: A Gigantic Dork's Thoughts

Sunday: Music about endings and beginnings

Monday: Farewell

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I"m wondering if I should shoo LJW before I leave.  I'm afraid if he stays after I'm gone, they'll spray for bugs and he'll get killed.  Although he probably doesn't have much time left anyway.  He's at least 3 weeks old.

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I've heard Van Morrison is a raging prick.  I like his music.

Comments

[Ojo Rojo]

You must project differently over there because I wouldn't have tagged you as a negative person. I've seen you do some "chicken little" shit before, but that's more like paranoia than negativity. Sucks that they had to bring out the Maddie on you. What was that Robert dude thinking?

I doubt the TPN's were invited to the party, but I'd like to hear what they would have had to say.

Can't wait to get the Star Wars post. I don't get that many chances to commune with Star Wars nerds much anymore.

[kb]

You didn't do the Nuclear suit on the 3rd day story justice.

"out of Iraq forever"? You aren't going back for a second tour? jk.

[allbilly]

That is rather bizarre. I always find it interesting how others view me.

Were you really screaming at her on the phone in front of your entire office?

[ambs77]

ha ha! funny post.

i cringe at the thought of a roast in my honor. i really think what was said about you would be very similar to what would be said about me. wow, are we ever cool! ha ha...

safe travels if i don't post more before you take off. you must be so excited! (are you going to greece still? sorry, i don't remember hearing anything more on this?)

maybe you could take the fly to someone else's room? how sad to leave him! ha ha....

[Snake Diggity]

Ojo: I think my two most used phrases over here are "We're fucked." and "This sucks." But somehow people still like me...I think. The TCNs were there, but they didn't speak to me until afterward. Their words were touching. But I already knew.

kb: 2nd tour....ummm...no. But you can imagine...

billy: yeah, it was bizarre. Over here, especially at that time, the only phones are in your office, so there is zero privacy. Emotions run high, tempers flare. Shit dude, I was in love; people do stupid shit when they're in love.

ambs: Yes, I'm still going ot Greece. I considered taking LJW to this other girl's room, because she said she had a pet fly too, but I'm afraid I'd accidentally kill him trying to catch him to bring him over there.

[Will]

i would have loved to roast you, jake, i woulda killed