Not trying to get too specific on what kind of girl I want to settle down with upon my return home, but this girl would probably fit the bill:
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Save for the fact that she's only 18 years old, she's perfect. A smart, beautiful, olympic-level pole vaulter from SoCal.
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I had a dream last night that Little Jerry WIlson landed on my thigh and scooted a long, runny, fly turd all down my leg. Weird.
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Astros win! Roy O.!
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I"m seriously considering going to an all guayabera wardrobe. They fucking rule.
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The Old 97's recently released "Best Of" album is a farce. No Old 97's compilation is complete without "Big Brown Eyes", "Streets Of Where I'm From", and "Mama Tried".
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Seriously, is that chick up there not fucking beautiful?
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I used to think the chorus of this song was "One Guayabera". Another shattered dream.
Yeah, I saw that chic's pictures yesterday too. She should say screw athletics and be a model. She is definitely going to be the most attractive D1 athlete next year. And it won't even be close. She'll be like the VY of hotness.
Posted by: llogg | May 03, 2007 at 04:18 AM
It's 330 bucks just for a shirt!? I would reconsider.
You should go to a AVP tournament sometime. They might be taller than what you are looking for, but they are ALL ripped and beautiful.
Posted by: SD | May 03, 2007 at 05:57 AM
Comment above was me.
Posted by: kb | May 03, 2007 at 06:00 AM
Where did you see her? You should go to Texas Relays the next time you can. The pole vaulters, 800 chicks and heptathletes have the greatest bodies. Who is she anyway?
I'm willing to bet everything you earned in Iraq that unless you are a movie star/gazillionaire, that chic would just think you are a barber if you sport those Mexican dude shirts. But do it dude...if a chick will date you and that is your wardrobe..she obviously isn't shallow.
Posted by: allbilly | May 03, 2007 at 06:47 AM
Wow - that chick is amazing.
I can't believe Billy didn't comment on the fact that she's a "pole vaulter."
Posted by: matt k | May 03, 2007 at 07:07 AM
llogg: Agreed. That chick has no business exerting herself anywhere except inside a bedroom.
kb: Yeah, VB chicks are $.
billy: Yeah, I need to make the Relays just because I've never been before. But you're totally wrong about guayaberas. They are fucking PIMP. You just gotta be Daddy to pull it off baby!
Matt K: Yep, I'd eat her mahone. Can't believe Billy left "pole vaulter" alone either.
Posted by: Snake Diggity | May 03, 2007 at 07:35 AM
Also, Billy, barbers are $. Barber shop owner makes my top 10 of possible long term careers.
Posted by: Snake Diggity | May 03, 2007 at 07:36 AM
How many pockets does one shirt need? Or buttons for that matter?
Posted by: Ally | May 03, 2007 at 08:15 AM
When I got that email from you with the length to "female pole vault champion" I just knew it was going to be some raunchy picture of a petite chick impaled on an 18 inch cock. Pleasantly surprised that it was in fact the Anna Kournikova of track and field. Sweet.
Posted by: Ojo Rojo | May 03, 2007 at 08:21 AM
For those wondering who she is, her name is Allison Stokke. She is a high school senior in California, and one of the nation's top amatuer Pole Vaulters. She has accepted a pole vaulting scholarship to Cal. And she will be bearing my children someday.
Ally: The only comment on fashion my dad ever made was "you can never have too many pockets." Can't explain the buttons other than to say they just look cool.
Posted by: Snake Diggity | May 03, 2007 at 08:37 AM
I think your dad and my dad had the same wardrobe advice growing up. My pops loves him some pockets!
Posted by: kb | May 03, 2007 at 09:05 AM
Funny you mention those guayabera shirts, I use to wear them all the time here at work. They're comfortable as shit and they're really no hassle because they never wrinkle or anything like that. But then my company started cracking down on dress code and said we could only wear them on casual friday. I was like "Mother fuc%er this is a TRADITIONAL MESKIN WEDDING SHIRT! Meaning I'm WAAAAY over dressed when I wear this shit!" Sorry, had to get that out. But bottom line they are dope. Make the trip to SA and you can get them at several places for 20-30 bones.
Posted by: Aug Dogg | May 03, 2007 at 11:00 AM
"When I got that email from you with the length to "female pole vault champion"..."
Awesome Freudian slip, Ojo!
Posted by: llogg | May 03, 2007 at 02:08 PM
For those of you who aren't peds and pervs and want to see a real woman pole vaulter (and i mean track and field athlete...not jenna jameson)...type this name into Google Images
Tatiana Grigorieva
and..you are welcome.
Posted by: allbilly | May 03, 2007 at 03:21 PM
Aug: Yeah, I'll have to increase my stock. I only have 2, and they are both hand-me-downs from my grandfather. Anybody who's hating simply can't appreciate when style meets function.
Billy: That chick is fucking old.
Posted by: Snake Diggity | May 03, 2007 at 10:09 PM
Billy's pole vaulter is mildly attractive but nowhere near the same class as Ms. Stokke up there.
Posted by: llogg | May 04, 2007 at 03:35 AM
good to know llogg is gonna be a neuro and not a gyno...nubile teen lovin perv.
jokes people...jokes
Posted by: allbilly | May 04, 2007 at 06:56 AM
Billy's idea of "hotties":
http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&gbv=2&q=Farrah+Fawcett
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Betty+White&gbv=2
http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&gbv=2&q=Estelle+Getty
Posted by: Snake Diggity | May 04, 2007 at 07:20 AM