Day 11

Less than a week and a half to go.  Crazy.

This lady over here named Mary is leaving on Monday.  She's been like my surrogate Iraqi mother.  She reminds me of 2 of my favorite aunts (Kay and Clara Marie for those who know).  You can tell she was a 'head back in the sixties, but somehow she has maintained a pure heart and some innocence.  She's an incredible listener, and good for my self esteem.  I"m going to miss her.  Anyway, last night we were talking and I realized something.

Every single worldly possession of mine is sitting in 4 3' X 2' containers in my parents' garage.  Two Tupperware storage boxes, a suitcase, and a military trunk contain everything I own.  I have no bed, no car, no home, and no furniture of any kind.

Imagine that on October 8th, 2005 I got into a really bad car wreck and went into a coma.  For a year and a half I slept, having dreams of world travel and nightmares of Iraq.  While I was asleep my girlfriend left me, my family got rid of everything of mine that didn't have sentimental value, and for the most part, I was left alone.  A few of those close to me stopped by the hospital regularly to check in on me, but other than that, I wasn't a part of anyone's every day life.  Then suddenly on May 31st, 2007, I woke up.  Sitting on my lap was a briefcase full of money.

That's pretty much what I"m coming home to.  For better or worse, I'm coming home to a completely clean slate.  I'm a 27 year old newborn.  No one cares what I do with my time.  No one is depending on me for anything.  I don't owe anyone anything.  It's a strange feeling.

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Astros win!  Wandy!  If I were Garner, this would be my lineup:

1. Biggio 2B
2. Loretta SS
3. Berkman LF
4. Lee RF
5. Ensberg 3B
6. Pence CF
7. Lamb 1B
8. Ausmus C

That leaves Burke as your utility player and Luke Scott as your primary DH.  Lane and Everett go on the block for a closer or young catching prospects.

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For Billy.  All in good fun though.

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I think I'd really dig a Dale Watson cover of this one.  Scootin a boot at the Spoke to this would be the shizzle.

Comments

[allbilly]

The part about the briefcase full of cash made me think you should be missing a kidney or lung or something.

Interesting PR piece on the academic greatness of the UT football team. Did anyone understand that APR thing? I'm sure all the smart kids are walk ons and tackling clones (I couldn't say "dummies"...oxymoron)...

Dale has that new CD recorded at Cash's cabin or something.

Just be sure you card the chicks you hook up with when you get back. And don't troll the high school track meets...pervert.

[roy]

that's an interesting way of looking at your situation. a lot of people would probably love to have the opportunity to wake up with a clean slate and a stack of $.

what is that girl's name? she's too hot...it makes me uncomfortable.

[kb]

My money says your girl has a boob job. They are just too perfectly round. And she does live in SoCal and pole vaults. The only people that pick up pole vaulting are rich people. You can't exactly see Allen Iverson picking up the sport as a youngster.

[Snake Diggity]

Allison Stokke.

btw, Roy, how game would you be to do my 2006 taxes after I get back? I paid some dude like $250 last year and he was a douche, so if you wanted to do it, I'd pay the same. Email me if you're game. No big deal either way.

I don't think they're fake. She's just perfect.

[allbilly]

pole vaulting only for the rich? are you on crack? every track and field team in high school has pole vaulting.

and she's freakin' 17 that is why her boobs look so good and they are all pushed up in that sports bra.

[kb]

We didn't have pole vaulting in my high school.
So obviously not "every" high school has pole vaulting.

[kb]

...and I'm not on crack. I'm on cheese. It's the new crack.

[allbilly]

velveeta cheese product or cheddar?

really...no pole vaulting? i went to a small high school and we had it in 8th grade even.

sorry you were neglected the opportunity to pole vault.

[llogg]

Oh, KB has done his share of "pole vaulting". Billy, in case you're out of the narcotics loop, cheese is a mixture of heroin and Tylenol PM that DFW kids love.

[Snake Diggity]

billy: PV may not be only for rich kids, but private league pole vaulting and summer pole vaulting camp in SoCal certainly is. And she's 18.

kb: cheese? wtf? man, I'm behind the f'n times.

llogg: Mix some up. We'll all "cheese out" and "Robotrip" this coming OU weekend.

[kineyb]

The crazy thing about cheese is that every week the news does a different story of someone dying from it. wtf would you keep using it if the death rate is so high? It's worse than russian roulette.

llogg, pole to pole...hole to hole, but never pole to hole.