Cursed With Ambition

Redeye Update

1. An important national holiday passed without a mention here.  February 12th was SI Swimsuit Edition rollout.  Let me just say, Johnny Damon's wife is pretty hot.  And just when I thought Alessandra Ambrosio was going to be my new favorite supermodel, I go and see this.  Megods.
2. I participated in the Town Lake (Lady Bird Lake) Series III canoe/kayak race on Sunday.  It was 6.75 miles.  It was 4 laps around a relatively short course between I-35 and Longhorn Dam.  I had paddled for 2-1/2 hours the day before and stayed up pretty late drinking on Saturday night, so I might not have been at my best, but I managed to put in the 13th fasted time overall, out of 27 boats.  That stat doesn't really tell you much because of all of the different types of boats.  There was a handicapping system in place that attempts to put racers on a level playing field.  Based on the handicap, I finished 16th.  You can see the results here.  I paddled hard and was second in my class (out of four).  After about a month of getting back to training seriously, I figure I'm pretty close to where I was at my peak before the holidays, when everything went to shit.  Plan is to build from here and peak at the Safari.
3. I bought a new solo boat that I'm pretty excited about.  It's a Spencer Eagle, which is the boat on the right in the picture.  (Mine doesn't have the hull decked though.)  Here is a picture of the actual boat I bought with the guy who owned it before the guy I bought it from.  It's a very fast boat, but also very tippy.
4. I'm going to be an uncle again, which is pretty cool.
5. Wedding planning blows.

Traffic Court

I got a ticket a couple of weeks ago for turning left where turning left wasn't allowed.  As it was happening, my fiance' was in the passenger seat and tried to tell me, "Just go down a couple more streets and then turn left.  Not here."  It was too late though.  I was already into the turn.  And besides, I thought, what's the harm?  Well, the harm was there was a cop stationed in a parking lot right at the intersection and he stopped me.  I had had a couple (literally two) of drinks at the restaurant we were coming from and I probably would have been over .08 BAC, so I was a little worried.  I popped a piece of gum as casually as I could to kill any smell of alcohol and prevent a crappy situation from becoming shitty.  The cop was the most self-deprecating, depressive creature I've ever witnessed.  He went on and on about how he was sorry he had to do this, the city just wants your money, I'm not singling you out - I've stopped 25 people tonight for the same thing, if you fight the ticket I probably won't show up to the hearing because I've got family problems, and on and on.  It was actually pretty funny.  I used to bow up to cops with high levels of sarcasm, but now I placate.  I see the situation for what it is and I'm okay with it.  Anyway, Officer Droopy wrote me a ticket and, get this, the court date was February 14th. 

So last night, on Valentine's Day, I'm sitting in Court #9 in the Houston Municipal Court Building.  Out of the 30 or 40 people in there, I was one of only 3 white people; one was the judge.  I'm really not sure what the large presence of minorities means.  It could mean that cops are bigots, but I really don't know.  Judging from what I saw, most of these people were legally retarded.  The only people in the room who could have beaten out an orangutan on an IQ test were the judge, the bailiff, the 2 clerks and me.  And one of the clerks was iffy. 

Every time someone was called to the bench it was the same thing.  The judge would tell them, "You were supposed to bring your proof of insurance and $253.  Do you have them."  Invariably, the drooler would tell the judge meekly, "Well, I have the insurance.  But I won't have the money until next week."  (This is a translation from the Droolish.)  The judge would then offer alternatives, usually more time, but these alternatives had consequences like having the citation go on the person's driving record or forfeiting a bond or whatever.  All of these "alternatives" had long term consequences that the people universally misunderstood.  They were getting a pass now/pay double later alternative and would eventually end up in jail, I suppose.  The poor judge knew this, but recounted the explanation over and over and over without even a sigh.

I thought that when my turn came that I would be a breath of fresh air for the judge.  Someone with a little personality and a smile who had already studied the options and made an intelligent decision about how they were going to handle their traffic ticket. 

And it wasn't an easy decision to make. 

The people who set fines and alternatives for traffic tickets have shrewdly created a system where there is no right answer.  None of the alternatives are good or without risk.  Here are the options:

1. You can simply pay the ticket.  This means you plead guilty.  This is the lowest time commitment, but it also has the highest potential cost long term.  Your auto insurance rates might go up.  And now Texas has this "point system" where if you get six points on your license you have to pay an annual fee.  The fee ranges from a little more than $100 to over $250.  It's impossible to know the actual cost of this option because of the insurance rate variable and the inability to see into the future to know whether you'll ever get the six points.
2. You can request to take defensive driving.  This costs less than the ticket itself, but not much.  My ticket was $173 and taking defensive driving would have cost me around $150.  Plus, there's a fairly large time and hassle factor.  You have to spend 8 hours in the class and then you have to obtain the completion certificate and make sure the court gets it and applies it to your case.  And there are deadlines.  This option is a big hassle.
3. You can request deferred disposition.  This is the most expensive initial cost, but with zero long-term costs with one catch.  The way it works is that you pay court costs and a bond (for me it was $195).  This is a nonrefundable bond, so that money is gone.  The good news is that the ticket is erased from your record so your insurance won't go up and you don't get points on your license.  The catch is you can't get another ticket within 90 days. 
4. You can ignore the ticket and do nothing.  What happens with this option is that you get a series of additional charges and fines for failing to appear at your scheduled court dates until eventually you get a warrant out for your arrest.  Usually when you get notice of the warrant you realize that your strategy of hoping for the inefficiency of government (there's no way to deal with millions of these) or the pettiness of the offense (who would bother taking to someone to jail for a traffic ticket?)  to save you isn't going to work and you end up paying 4-5 times what you would have had to pay in the beginning. 
5. You can fight the ticket.  This is the biggest gamble with the biggest possible payoff:  dismissal.  You request a trial by judge or jury and you get a trial date.  If you spin the wheel and the cop doesn't show up the prosecutor can't prove his case and the ticket gets dismissed.  The only thing you have to pay are court costs.  These costs are unpublished on the ticket, which makes it hard to calculate whether this is really the best option without having to go through further hassle.  If the cop shows up you either try your best to disprove the prosecutor's case, or you change your plea  and pay the original fine plus the court fees.  This is all assuming that you don't have a real defense.  If you have a real defense, you might still have to pay the court fees; I'm not sure about that.  It takes balls to go to trial with no real defense.  You are essentially just trying to bullshit somebody.  You cross examine the officer on insignificant details and whatnot, but it's doubtful the judge or jury is going to believe you over the officer with this kind of routine.

The only real way to get out of the situation scot-free is to beg your way out of the ticket with the cop in the first place.  That would be much, much easier if I had tits.  Once the ticket's written, it's over.

My strategy was to request deferred disposition and also ask for a lower bond amount.  In my mind, this was a bit like calculating Vegas odds.  The information on the ticket actually said that the bond amount was set by the court, which meant to me that the judge could hook you up or fuck you, depending on their mood.  If I could get the bond amount down, deferred was the best option by far.  The only flaw was that I had to rely on the discretion of the judge to cut me a break.  But I liked my odds of charming the judge.

I was called and went up to the bench and said, "Good evening, your honor."  A good start that all of the others had failed to make.  The judge didn't react to my opening, but no matter.  She'd been listening to the same sad stories and saying the same things in the basement of the municipal court building for who knows how long - years?  She was going to take a bit of loosening up.  She read the offense - left turn where prohibited - and asked me what I wanted to do.  I responded instantly to show that I had actually prepared for my arraignment, unlike all of the zombies she'd dealt with before.  "Your honor, I'd like to apply for deferred disposition."  (Notice I said "apply," which was proper and also showed that I knew the judge didn't have to allow it - thus acknowledging her power in the situation.)  I followed that up with a wide insider's grin and said, "And I'd also like to request the court set the bond amount at a lower amount than that published on the application."  (Again, letting her know that I knew she had some discretion.  I could have thrown out an exact figure - I'd already decided that $100 was my goal - but I didn't want to bid against myself.  This might've been a mistake.)  The judge asked to see my license; a good sign.  (Whenever a judge delays a ruling, even slightly, it means that at least they are considering it and it may mean that they are going to give you what you want but you're going to have to suffer and wait for it.)  I had a copy of my license prepared and I asked whether she needed the actual license or if a copy would do.  She said the copy was fine.  As I handed her the copy I thought I detected a very slight acknowledgement.  I thought to myself, "She's thinking, 'This guy's good.'"  She looked at her computer screen for a few seconds.  "The bond amount of $95 plus the $100 court costs are the lowest the courts do.  Do you still want to do deferred?"  She was stonefaced.

Shit.  Denied.  Now I had to think.  I hadn't calculated the Vegas odds of my option versus the others at the full bond amount.  Never crossed my mind that I wouldn't be able to sway the judge.  Do I press?  Ask again?  Point out the language on the application states that the bond amount is set by the court?

I looked at the judge; assessing her. 

Midwest transplant...Probably Chicago...Mid-40's...Ring on finger - married...Probably has a couple of kids...No makeup...Probably a lousy dead-fish lay...Uncharmable...She hates her job, but ultimately doesn't care any more...I wouldn't either in this shitty job...She has zero reason to give me what I want...In fact, giving me what I want only makes her look bad on some report I'm sure they generate. 

Verdict:  I'm fucked.

I decided to orally recount my options with her.  There were two reasons:  1)  I wanted to make sure I had them all straight, 2) By exposing the hopelessness of the situation I might make her realize that giving me what I wanted might inject just a little humanity into an otherwise soulless system.  There was a 3rd reason, I suppose.  She might tip me off as to the best option; maybe something I had overlooked.  I went through them, "So if I do X, then Y?  And if I do Z, then a different Y?"  She nodded.  Hmmm...nothing obvious.  "Decisions, decisions," I said with a pleading look.  She responded with, "Yeah, it's a tough one" in her Chicago accent.  This bitch wasn't giving me an inch.

In the end I decided to stick with Plan A and buy deferred disposition for $195.  Looking back, I probably should have rolled the dice with a trial.  It would have cost me a day, but at least I would have gotten a chance to cross examine Officer Droopy, which probably would have been a better story.

TTC 69

I received an email forward a few days ago from some concerned citizens regarding the Trans-Texas Corridor, and specifically about the creation of one component of the project, I-69.  I haven't done a whole lot of research on the project, but the gist is that the State of Texas is in the process of implementing a 50-year transportation improvement plan that includes not only the construction and improvement of existing highway paths, but also high-speed rail lines, freight rail lines and utility right of ways.  Part of the plan is to create Interstate 69 that will run from Canada to Mexico and will follow existing highway routes.  One of the potential routes has I-69 tracking most of what is now state highway 59 that runs from Texarkana to Houston to Victoria to Laredo.  The purpose of the Trans-Texas Corridor is easy to see:  with the population growing all the time we are eventually going to need transportation infrastructure that will meet much greater demands.  Plus, transportation infrastructure is good for the economy and will bring revenue in many forms, but especially to those areas touched by the corridors. 

You would think the citizens along the proposed routes of the TTC would be happy about the likely economic benefits to their areas that the TTC would bring.  To the contrary, many citizens are outraged.  Most for two reasons:  they see the enormous expenditures as government waste at its worst and they are afraid of the government taking all of the land required for the project.  The email that I received was all about people mobilizing and going to a series of town meetings hosted by TXDOT where citizens have an opportunity to voice their opinions and concerns about the project.  The people behind the email obviously think that their voices at these town hall meetings are going to have some force and effect.  To put it another way, they think they are going to bring down the Trans-Texas Corridor by showing up at a meeting and bitching about it.  As a person who has some experience with government takings, I know something these people apparently do not:  they are already screwed.  No government project gets this far down the road and doesn't happen.  These town hall meetings are a formality required by law to give the appearance of public input and control.  People think that because we have a democratic form of government that their input will be heeded.  Every time I'm exposed to that notion I replay a haunting sound bite from the documentary that I made, "This is not a majority rule situation because the majority already ruled when poeple elected the Congress."  No truer words were ever spoken.

I haven't developed an opinion yet on whether the TTC should happen or not.  There are clearly pros and cons.  What frustrates me is that people are so ignorant of the way things work.  I'm not talking about some cynical view of government or some esoteric conspiracy theory bullshit.  I'm talking about nuts and bolts reality.  People are running around outraged, thinking that the government is corrupt or out of control, or both.  And they are acting on it.

Maybe I'm jaded or wrong.  I'd be interested in hearing what the readership thinks.