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Redeye Update 11/28/2007

  1. Belated Happy Thanksgiving to all.  I hope everyone took at least a second to recount all of the things you are thankful for.  That one second is really what the holiday is all about.  I'm thankful for a million things, not the least of which are (in no particular order):  my health, my GF, my brothers and their wives and their children and their parents and their parents and all the rest of my family, all of my friends, a better than average job, Mack Brown, DeMarco Murray's knee, Marisa Miller, Pappa's Steakhouse, Wom Kim's Peach Pudding and sex.
  2. One of my cousins took his own life the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  I wasn't going to mention it because I don't think his immediate family would approve of this forum, but they don't know of the existence of this blog and my self censor is pretty liberal - in fact, there is really only one rule:  NO BLOGGING ABOUT THE GF.  I wasn't really close to him, and I didn't experience the kind of heart-crushing grief that the closest members of his family did, but something like this is a horrible tragedy and a complete mindfuck.  I feel compelled to say:  if you know or suspect someone suffers from depression, keep an eye on them and make sure that you are a lifeline for them if they are ever in a deep, dark hole.  Help them get help if they can't help themselves or if you can't help them yourself.  Standing offer to anyone who knows me and reads this - if you are in that place call me anytime, anywhere.  There are better days.
  3. On a lighter note, A&M and Ole Miss did well with their coaching hires, while Baylor did not.  Sherman is an A&M guy and that's a place that does well to keep it in the family (graphic incest pun intended).  Nutt, despite having a pretty unfortunate name, did well enough at a tough place to win.  The Hogs admins flip-flopped last minute, apparently, based on their win of #1 LSU, which is ridiculous that one win can have such an effect.  Anyway, I think Nutt learned a lesson from Mustaingate and would never sacrifice power over the program to win a recruit again.  I don't think Ole Miss is going to win the SEC anytime soon, and the Rebs' fan base has unrealistic expectations, but he should elevate the program somewhat.  Southern Miss, on the other hand, fuckey uppey bigtime.  You are Souther fucking Miss!  You should be thankful for the level of succes Jeff Bower brought you!  Ingrates!  Mark my words - you'll never see Southern Miss on the national radar again.  And Baylor, well, their admins don't have a clue whatsoever.  Briles is five years removed from coaching high school.  He did some good things at UH, but that's the C-USA.  The Big XII is something else altogether.  Baylor has struggled for years to compete for recruits with Texas and A&M, let alone the bung raiders to our north and east, OU and LSU.  Maybe they figured that Briles' relationship with Texas high school coaches, having been one so recently, will give him a recruiting edge.  Baylor needs continuity and despite the setback this season, Morriss was making a little progress.  Like a lot of other schools, Baylor pulled the trigger too soon.
  4. Can we get a fucking playoff already?!  There are specific attributes that are rewarded by the current system in D-1 (or FBS or whatever-in-the-fuck).  One of them is to schedule cream puffs in non conference, but preferrably at least one cream puff that nobody knows is a cream puff or at least doesn't sound like a cream puff.  (Examples of non-cream puff cream puffs:  TCU this year, New Mexico State, Southern Illinois or Northern Illinois, Rutgers, Ole Miss, Syracuse, Marshall, Louisville this year, Fresno State, Washington.)  The next thing is to play in one of the following conferences:  Big Ten, Big XII, Pac 10, ACC, Big East, SEC or be an independent if you play a respectable schedule if you're Notre Dame or a damned tough schedule if you're not.  Next is to win every game, regardless of who you play or what the margin of victory is.  For what it's worth, a playoff would simply reward a different set of attributes, but at least it's a set of attributes that is rewarded in just about every other major sport in the world.
  5. Texas had a disappointing season.  If they lose their bowl game, Jake will have been exactly spot-on with his preseason projection.  I had higher hopes.  I figured two losses and a BCS game.  In the end, offensive line and secondary were as bad as we thought.
  6. Safari training has taken a positive turn.  I've been able to use a rowing machine in the gym to almost perfectly simulate the paddling movements for a kayak with a double bladed paddle.  I hadn't solved the problem of getting out on the water to train given the shorter and colder days.  Being able to get on the machine in the gym will help a lot.  I've got the December Solos race coming up on Saturday.  It's the first and probably only race of the season where I have an actual chance to win because it's handicapped based on previous best times.  I'll start early based on my previous time and I'm taking the Rainmaker out this time, so I should be a lot faster.  I'm really anxious to see how I do given recent training and a much lighter and faster boat.

Great Minds Think Alike

It's comforting to me whenever I run across someone completely unrelated to me, with whom I've had no prior contact, who expresses an idea I thought only I had.  For example, the premise of the movie Idiocracy is nearly exactly the way I think about "the masses."  The GF asked me if I'd secretly written the screenplay for the movie.  I didn't, but I could have.  Similarly, I've often thought about the phenomenon/tragedy of hot chicks with douchebags.  Then I stumbled across this website.  Hilarious.  And true.

I Owe You Fuckers a Blog Post

College Football

  1. I like Mike Leach, I really do, (his Mike's Pirate Club rip on the A&M Corps is awesome) but his referee rant is totally wrong.  Yeah a lot of calls went against his team on Saturday, but they were all correct calls, with the possible exception of the roughing the passer no-call.
  2. Kansas is the most overrated team, possibly ever.  Get this - of all of their ten wins, only 2 of them came against teams with winning records.  Not ranked teams, mind you, but merely teams who have won more games than they've lost.  Not only should no man as fat as Mangino ever enjoy this kind of success, but teams who pad their schedule so shamelessly should never, ever get this high in the rankings.  Proof positive that the rankings are bullshit.  I hope Missouri or whoever they play in the Big 12 Championship expose their asses for the posers they are.
  3. The best explanation for the recent apparent parity in college football that I've heard is scholarship limits.  Used to, big programs would give out scholarships to every recruitable player - hundreds of them - to lock up players that would otherwise have gone to competitor schools.
  4. There is a running back at Georgia by the name of Knowshon.  I guess his mama wanted the world to think he was smart.

Safari Training

  1. It's been unusually difficult to go to the gym, run and paddle lately.  I usually get lethargic this time of year.  My theory is that there is a vestigial human hibernation instinct going on.  Next race is December 1st at the December Solos aka San Marcos Solos on the same 16.5 mile section of the San Marcos River that I ran at the Jr. Texas Water Safari.  I got permission to use my fast training boat, the Rainmaker, from John Bugge, who is renting me the boat.  If I destroy the boat by wrapping it around a rock or a tree I have to pay him like $3500, which would make for a shitty Christmas this year.  I'm anxious to see how I do in a race with a real racing boat.  Using the Raptor in the Martindale Triathlon made a huge difference.  Plus, the solo race is handicapped so I actually have a decent shot at winning the thing.

The Practice of Law

  1. It's been a little more than a year now that I've been a real lawyer.  (Where the hell did that year go?)  I've alternated between loving and hating this job.  There's a lot of tedious bullshit, but there's also a lot of rewards.  I could go on for hours.
  2. I have gotten exposure to a lot of things in the last year, so I guess the experience is one of the good points.  One of the reasons I wanted to work at a smaller firm (like I had a choice) was to get more hands-on exposure instead of just drafting memos and doing document review all day.  Well, I've gotten that in triplicate.  I'm running the show on almost all of the cases I'm working on, which should be horrifying.  But, so far I haven't fucked anything up too bad.
  3. One of the most frustrating things to deal with is that level of ignorance of lay people.  Comparing medicine and law for a second - I'd venture that people know less about the law than they do about human physiology.  But people want to be their own lawyer or back seat drive their cases all the time.  Nobody tries to be their own doctor.  I've gotten impatient with people a number of times.  For example, I garnished a judgment debtor's bank account recently and the guy calls me up, all pissed off.  He's incredulous - "You can actually do that?!  Take someone's bank account?!"  Why yes, yes I can.  There have to be effective ways to collect on a judgment out of lawsuit.  Otherwise, why would anyone ever bring a lawsuit if there was no way to collect at the end?  What, we're going to rely on everyone to voluntarily pay?  Because it's the right thing to do?  Fucking puhlease.
  4. The number one way to scare off potential clients who you don't want to fuck with?  You know, the ones with the "outrage" cases?  (An outrage case is one where there is either no actionable civil offense or no damages, merely outrage that such-and-such happened.)  Two words:  Big Retainer.
  5. The most egregious example of an outrage case that I got a call on was a landlord/tenant issue.  I shit you not, the woman calls in and she's hysterical - crying and carrying on and shit.  I had to try to make out between sobs what the fucking facts were.  Basically, she claimed that the apartment managers were harrassing and persecuting her.  Worst of all, according to her, they were making her get rid of all of her pets or they were going to evict her.  So I start asking her some questions.  "Did you tell them when you signed your lease that you were going to have pets?"  "Well....uh...no."  "Did you pay a pet deposit?"  "Well...uh...no."  "How many pets do you have there?"  "I have five cats and three dogs."  "And this is a one bedroom apartment?"  "Yeah."  I wanted to tell her, "Maybe, just maybe, the apartment managers are harassing you because you are a dumb, crazy bitch!"  But of course, I couldn't do that.  So I said the magic words:  "Five thousand dollar retainer."

Into the Wild

I saw Into the Wild on Friday night.  I had read the book in '03 or '04 after reading what is probably my favorite book of all time, Into Thin Air, also by Krakauer.  I first became aware of Into the Wild being made into a movie when I saw the trailer before King of Kong a few weeks ago.  I knew immediately that I was going to see the movie.  I've got some strong emotions and opinions on Into the Wild and Chris McCandless because I think what infected and drove McCandless to do the things that he did are a big part of American culture and affect almost all middle class American males at some point in their youth.  I feel especially close to the story because I was pretty heavily infected by it myself.  What college-ish aged dude hasn't dreamed about exiting society and striking out on the road just drifting and l-i-v-i-n'?  I think it's the fallout from the realization that the whole American-Dream-Manifest-Destiny-Meritocracy thing is more or less a myth; at least as presented.  Either that, or people realize that they can just opt out.

During this period in my life I went on my fair share of walkabouts and considered more than once just staying gone.  I never did; mostly because I wasn't willing to leave the people in my life.  Eventually I forgave my parents and everyone else; something McCandless wasn't able to do.  Later, I discovered the usefulness of convention.  After that, rebellion for rebellion's sake got too tiring and seemed silly, so the moment passed.  But when I read Into the Wild, I knew exactly what Christopher McCandless felt.  I said out loud as I read, "Thank God I didn't read this fucking book in 1996."

Strangely, I don't idealize McCandless.  I'm angry at him.  His story could have been a tale of adventure, growth and forgiveness.  Instead it ends in death.  The locals near where McCandless died didn't think much of him.  To them he wasn't some crusader searching for a pure existence.  To them he was an irresponsible idiot - a college boy who didn't have any sense and starved to death because he didn't have the first clue about living in the Alaskan wilderness.  Any local or any outdoorsman worth his salt would have gotten by just fine under the same conditions.  I often think of what I would have done in McCandless' shoes and I don't think I would have starved to death.  Maybe I'm missing a critical point of his philosophy, but would it have been any less pure of an experience if he'd have taken a goddamned fishing pole or another ten pounds of rice?  I admire the guy for what he was seeking and even more for setting out so far and wide to find it.  However, I think he was misguided and immature.  He was too caught up in what he was reading.  I doubt if he had any sort of epiphany out there.  I think he felt comfortable with his choices because he was doing what he thought he was supposed to be doing.  I think he was happy.  I just think the value of the experience would have been much, much more if he'd have lived.  Then again, maybe nobody would have ever heard of Christopher McCandless if he'd lived and shared what he learned instead of being a martyr.

After the movie I picked up the book again and I've thumbed through it some.  What doesn't come across as well in the movie is that there were a lot of ways that McCandless could have survived.  He tried to leave but was blocked by a swollen river.  He didn't know it, but there was a cable car upriver a little way that he could have used to cross.  There were a couple of cabins not far from where he camped.  To me, his incompetence as a survivalist taints whatever message there is to take away from his philosophy.  That disappoints me. 

Krakauer is an apologist for McCandless' actions.  He focuses on his noble pursuit of ideals and dismisses much of the criticism as missing the point.  I can see both sides, but at the end of the day the death seems so senseless and preventable.

Well Deserved

Hey everybody, Billy passed the Texas Bar Exam!!