Cursed With Ambition

Texas Longhorns Football 2007

Receivers

When I saw Sweed, Pittman and Shipley missing from the depth chart I screamed out loud in horror.  Then I read a story about how those three dudes are injured.  Sweed will probably miss game 1 against the Little Sisters of the Poor, but that's all.  His wrist injury is minor.  Don't know when the others will be back.  With the full complement we have one of the best receiving corps in the country.  Quan is going to play a big part on our offense and will get 10 touches a game not counting special teams.  Having the freshmen game ready this soon has to be a good thing even if they never step on the field when everyone is healed.

Offensive Line

Starting 3 sophomores and 2 seniors.  This could be a brilliant year or a horrible year for the O-line.  Hills is the anchor at left tackle and if you’re going to have a hoss on the line you want him at that position.  Unlike the receiving corps, our O-line appears to have more depth that I thought.  This squad is short on experience, but long on talent.  I look to see several derivations of the starting five throughout the year regardless of injuries.  Everyone thinks that this squad is the second worst liability on the team behind the defensive secondary.  I thought so too until I looked at the depth chart.  We're two or three deep at every position.  Granted, the backups are freshmen and inexperienced players.  That doesn't mean they suck; it just means they're untested.  Until we see some of these guys in a game we won't know how bad the depth on the O-line really is.

Quarterback

Word is that Colt trained like a beast and put on some weight for this season.  I just hope he's back to his form of pre-K-State.  He wasn't the same when he came back from the injury.  If he plays as well as he did last year he might be one of the top ten vote getters in the Heisman balloting.  Glad to see Chiles as the backup.  He's got more upside than Sherrod, most likely.  Look for Sherrod to transfer to SFA or Texas State or someplace after the season.

Tight End

Everyone is always on Jermichael's nuts, but not me.  The dude has dropped too many passes.  If he catches the ball when it hits him in the hands I'll be happy.  He has the chance to be one of the best ever at Texas.  Let's hope the coaches worked on his hands in the offseason.

Running Backs

No one seems to think we have a depth problem at running back.  Maybe I'm just spoiled with having two quality backs every year like the Selvin/Jamaal combo.  Jamaal doesn't have the frame to be an every down back.  I know he's put on weight for this season and all, but he's a sprinter with a sprinter's body.  I foresee an injury.  I think Ogbannaya is overrated.  He's made some good runs and has a good average (4.0 yds per carry), but he's done it mostly in trash time.  We also haven't seen Vondrell in game action yet.  Without more, I think there's a precipitous drop after Jamaal, who is likely to get hurt with his small frame and featured back status.  Best case is if Vondrell is impressive and shares carries so that Jamaal only carries 15-18 times a game.  Use Ogbannaya on short yardage and pass blocking situations since he's the biggest of the three.

Offense

I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to hold the play of Chris Simms against Greg Davis.  Horizontal pass play calls during that era still make me nauseous.  Davis has probably been unfairly criticized.  Still, this year's team is not as offensively talented and certainly not as deep as those from years past.  That means in order for the offense to be dominant and the team to win all of their games we need an edge from elsewhere - the coaches booth.  Being an optimist and foolish idealist I'm going to hope that Davis makes smart play calls to downplay our weaknesses and emphasize our strengths.  That would mean more downfield passing and less running between the tackles.  I understand that we've still got the option read playbood that Vince used.  Why?  Colt is not Vince.  And not just because he's not a demigod.  Colt has different skills.  He's more of a pure passer whose real strength is making good decisions.  The option read plays should be in the playbook, but it shouldn't be the playbook.

Defensive Line

Very solid group.  Next to the linebacking corps, probably the teams greatest strength.  Okam and Lokey are beasts.  Our defensive ends are big and athletic.  We're deep at all four positions.  Interesting that Melton didn't break the depth chart...

Linebacker

This squad is the team's biggest strength.  And the deepest.  (Not even counting Kindle.)  Say what you will about Scott Derry, but the dude makes plays.  He is NOT the typical white "chaser" linebacker in the mold of Tyson King and Reed Boyd.  But anyway, get used to it (that means you, Snake) because Dustin Earnest broke the depth chart and looks like Derry, Jr.  I read an article somewhere about the dearth of stud linebackers coming out of the Big XII and Texas.  The only exception is Derrick Johnson.  Look for Keenan Robinson to be the next NFL linebacker out of Texas.

Secondary

Oh, God.  For a fan, the most frustrating area to have a weak link on a football team is the secondary for the simple reason that when they make a mistake it is soooo visible.  When Michael Griffin is your best (and only) returning starter you know you've got problems.  Supposedly Foster and Palmer have looked good in the spring and two-a-days.  Let's hope so.  The fact that they are short doesn't bother as much as they've shown no ability to shut down receivers.  The backups don't provide any bright spots.  Beasley is small and weak.  He looked like a high schooler on the field last year.  Haven't seen enough of Curtis Brown to know what he's got.  Glad to see Erick Jackson get a shot.  If he can be an enforcer back there and intimidate receivers coming over the middle, that might take some heat off the corners.  Who knows?  We might be fine, but I look for a long year back there.

Defense

I thought the loss of Chizik would be hard to recover from.  It's great to have a program that can basically pick any coach it wants from college or the NFL.  Larry MacDuff was a solid acquisition.  Normally you hear about reloading with players, but we've reloaded with coaches too.  Schemewise, since we have a weak secondary, we need to blitz, blitz and blitz some more.  Quarterback pressure is the best way to protect a weak secondary.  Otherwise, the defense should be really good, especially up front.

Season Prediction

44  Texas v. Arkansas St.  3

30  Texas v. TCU  17

35  Texas v. Central Florida  10

48  Texas v. Rice  9

24  Texas v. K-State  17

18  Texas v. OU  12

13  Texas v. Iowa St.  3

37  Texas v. Baylor  24

38  Texas v. Nebraska  35

14  Texas v. Oklahoma St.  31

38  Texas v. Texas Tech  13

21  Texas v. Texas A&M  13

Fiesta Bowl

28  Texas v. Louisville  42

Overall Record  11-2

Junkboatditchracer

Junkboatditchracer is the handle used by a Safari veteran.  I'm grifting it here because that's what I felt like yesterday.

I made my first attempt at training in Houston Thursday evening.  My plan was to have all of my crap and change at work then drive to Oyster Creek in Sugar Land.  I hoped to get in close to 2 hours of paddling.  I loaded my boat, paddle, clothes, water bottles etc. during lunch.  I left work around 6:15 and drove south on 59.  I went to the Greater Houston Rowing Club, which has a dock on the creek.  Their place has been used by people training for the Safari before so I thought it would be a good place to launch.  Turns out that's wrong, but the folks there were nice and they gave me directions to a public spot nearby.  I pulled in after missing my turn first.  I got out of my truck to scout the creek.  The "creek" looked more like a drainage ditch.  I guess I should've expected that.  The water was brown and the banks were mostly choked with vegetation.  I could only imagine what was on the bottom.  I didn't want to get in that water and I knew I would be getting wet since I was certainly going to flip the Rainmaker.  I walked to a couple of different spots on the bank to get a better vantage point.  I was stalling.  I really didn't want to get in that water.  Staying out of the festering water would be an awesome incentive to stay balanced and upright in the boat, but I knew it was only a matter of time until I went swimming.  Finally, I said, "Fuck it" and I went to get the boat.  I figured I was there and I might as well do what I came for.  Cholera be damned.

I really wanted to know how deep the water was.  I'd read that it was 3-4 feet consistently, which would have been fine.  I really didn't want to submerge when I fell in.  I'd also heard rumors about alligators being in there, which is another sweet incentive to stay in the boat.  I carried to the boat to the water, donned my PFD, stowed my water bottles and got ready to get in.  A dude walked up and sat on a park bench near the water's edge and asked me if it was deep.  I told him I didn't know.  He said something about my life vest.  I told him I knew I was going to go in the water and I wasn't sure how deep it was so I was just being careful.  He nodded.  Why do I always have to get a fucking audience.

Near shore where I launched the boat the water was only a couple of feet deep.  I put my feet over the sides of the boat for stability until I could get warmed up.  A few strokes in and I pulled my legs inside.  I went about 20 yards and flipped right in front of the dude on the park bench.  It was only about 3 feet deep and the water was hot.  I asked the guy on the bench if he'd ever done this before.  (I knew there were a couple of guys who do the Safari who live on Oyster Creek and I wanted to know if this was one of them.)  He said he'd been on a smaller boat in Florida.  I told him that my boat was pretty unstable and I was just learning.  He nodded again.  I really didn't want a fucking audience.  Seems like I'm destined to have humility play a big part in this.  Either that, or I'm going to be known statewide as "That Dude Who Is Doing the Safari and Always Asks WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT."  Anyway, I paddled on past.  Every moment I was terrified of going in the shitty-looking water.  I only flipped once more and again in pretty shallow water.  I probably only paddled for 20 or 30 minutes total.  It was pretty disappointing.  I'm taking the boat to POC this weekend where I don't mind falling in the water.  I'd really like to get to the point where staying in the boat is a given and speed is the only variable.  Until then, I'm hoping there's a better place to train in Houston, but I doubt it.

Training for the Texas Water Safari Part II: Progress

I pretty much can't think about anything but the Texas Water Safari right now.  I dream about it, I think about it when I'm mowing my yard, I think about it when I drive and I think about it when I'm drafting important legal documents for my clients.  There's just so much that goes along with this thing.  I'm a gear and equipment geek and paddling has opened up an entirely new world.  PFD's, GPS's, paddle offset angle, composite materials, hull designs, stability vs. speed, seat height as it relates to stability, ballast as it relates to stability, stroke rate, synchronized stroke rate, waves, rocks, rapids, trees, sweepers, strainers, ins-and-outs, sunscreen types, hats, long vs. short sleeve, shorts vs. pants, winter training, roof racks, water shoes, etc....  Eventually some of these things will fade into the background as I'm able to take them for granted.  For now, since I'm brand new to this, I feel like I've got to consider them all.  It can be a bit overwhelming.  Plus, I'm blowing a lot of jack getting into this sport.  It's been a bit stressful.  Add to that the feeling that I'm having to shoulder a lot of the work with logistics and equipment while my partner chills back.  Overriding it all is the fact that we weren't able to stay in our boat for 50 yards and we're going to have to go 260 miles.

This past weekend I went to Austin to train.  I had picked up our solo training boats in College Station on Thursday from a man named John Bugge, who is one of the most decorated Safari veterans out there.  He builds boats and runs a combination plumbing business and paddling school for champion Belizean paddlers.  Sounds weird, I know.  He's a legend.  He was very forthcoming with information about paddling in general and about the Safari.  He was encouraging too.  He told me that we were probably getting started with more advanced equipment than we were ready for, but he said to just endure the frustration of falling out of the boat all the time and stick with it.

Before that I had to make a decision about getting a roof rack for my truck to carry these boats.  The Yakima and Thule racks are ideal, but expensive.  I priced them at several places.  I looked on eBay.  I didn't have time to build my own from crap I could buy at Home Depot.  Ultimately, I shelled out big bucks for a top of the line Yakima rack.  I cringed when I handed over my debit card.  That night, my girlfriend and I (it was a team effort, but all my fault) ran the rack into the top of the garage door.  I had checked it earlier in the day to see if it cleared.  The front part of it did; by about an inch and a half.  The back part of the rack looked to be the same height.  It wasn't.  I was standing outside the truck when it happened and my sweetheart was driving because she graciously picked me up from the bar after my dart league match so she could drive me home.  There was a sickening crunch.  I examined the rack and I thought it was bent and ruined.  My initial attempts to fix it were unsuccessful.  I was livid.  I started destroying things and trying to kick down doors, that kind of immature shit.  I was pissed off for several days.  I tried to blam my girlfriend; I really did.  But it wasn't her fault; it was mine alone.  I told her that it was going to clear.  I was guiding her in to the garage when it happened.  Fuck me.  As it turned out, the damage wasn't as bad as I thought and the rack is fine.  But goddamn I was mad.

So my partner, who is my cousin Robo who lives in Austin, got engaged last week.  He had been out of town for over a week, hadn't seen his new fiance during that whole time and hadn't yet celebrated his new engagement with his friends.  There was a hastily thrown together party on Friday night at a club in Austin that I don't particularly care for and we were invited.  I didn't want to go.  I was still fuming about the fucking rack and all I wanted to do was eat right, get some sleep and train.  But this is my cousin; one of the closest people to me in the world.  I had to be there.  We got out of town late because I had to work late and I had a bunch of other crap to do before we could leave.  As usual, my girlfriend was a total champ about the whole thing.  We rolled up on the scene after the third bottle of Belvedere was being tipped.  Gay men were kissing girls, crazy asses were drinking from beakers, everyone was plowed under.  Everyone was having a great time.  I was not.  I tried not to scowl at everyone and counted minutes until we could leave.  I was forced to drink to keep up appearances.  We left after last call, which was the earliest possible time we could leave without setting off alarms.  ("What's wrong with Ojo?  Are he and his GF having problems?  Was he pissed that so-and-so was here?  Was it something I said?" --You know, that kind of bullshit.)

I knew that Robo wasn't going to be able to train on Saturday.  We had worked that out in advance.  That was okay with me.  He had to do what he had to do.  I wanted to spend some time in the solo boat anyway.  I needed some alone time to clear my head.  I knew the solo boat was even tippier than the Raptor.  In fact, it's a Rainmaker canoe, which has a reputation for being unstable.  Erin's whole idea was that if we can stay in the Rainmaker, we can certainly stay in the Raptor.  I was prepared to flip constantly, which is exactly what I did exactly 15 seconds after sitting in it for the first time.  I had already lowered the seat as much as possible by rearranging the seat brackets.  I hadn't cut out the inch or so of foam on the seat, that was a last resort.  Mr. Bugge had told me to hang my legs out over the sides at first to gain stability, which I did.  I was able to stay upright like that.  I started to paddle very gingerly.  I couldn't go very fast because my legs were dragging in the water, but at least I wasn't flipping.  I paddled across the lake to a spot that I thought had a large area of shallow water.  Shallow water was important because there was no way I could do a wet entry in open water.  I got all the way over there, scared to death the whole way that I was going to flip, only to find that it wasn't the way I remembered.  There was only a small area of shallow water that wasn't enough.  I decided to paddle back across.  I inadvertently crossed right in front of a practicing sculling team.  I was looking straight ahead the whole time, concentrating on nothing but staying upright, so I never saw them.  The only way I knew I'd done it was that I heard their coach on a bullhorn from their support boat say, "Slow it up and make a turn.  We can do this because we are EXPERIENCED."  I was sure he'd emphasized the word "EXPERIENCED" because it was obvious that I didn't know what in the hell I was doing out there and he wanted a dig at me without just coming out and screaming obscenities at me.  He was right.  I'd screwed them up by crossing in front.  But fuck him anyway.

When I got back to the opposite shore I decided to try to pull my legs in.  SPLASH!!  Okay, that was expected.  I tried to remember all of the things that Erin and Bugge had told me about remaining stable.  I tried to use the paddle to push and pull the water to remain upright.  Imagine, the Rainmaker is about 24" wide and rounded on the bottom.  It wants to go over.  I slowly started to be able to paddle further and further without tumping.  I started getting a little more confident.  Not once could I relax though.  I had to concentrate at all times on staying upright.  I probably flipped 20-25 times.  Each time I'd bang my ankle or legs on the boat when I went over.  A couple of times other people out on the lake would ask me if I was okay or if I needed help.  Each time I'd wave them off and tell them I was okay.  Once, I got to an are with tall reeds lining the shore.  I didn't realize it, but those reeds are long and they blocked the actual shoreline.  I flipped, of course, and I couldn't get to shallow water so that I could get back in the boat.  Mr. Bugge had told me how he did wet entries.  He got on the back of the boat while it was upside down and then "flip it" upright and skooch up to the seat and start paddling again.  He said he could do this in nine seconds.  I tried it.  I started with the boat upright and crawled up on the hull on my belly.  I'd reach the seat area and try to get in but I'd flip over every time.  I tried this four or five times over 20 minutes.  I was exhausted.  Finally, this guy in a flat bottomed aluminum boat with a motor on it came over and asked me if he could help.  He was also a crew coach, but not the same one from earlier.  I told him that yeah, I could use some help.  I climbed onto his boat and smashed one of my balls on the gunnel.  I was too tired to hold up my entire body weight so that's why it happened.  I stifled the scream because I didn't want this dude who was picking me up to think I was an even bigger poontang than I already was.  We drug the Rainmaker to a small dock nearby with shallow water.  I thanked him.  I really don't know what I'd have done if he hadn't come by.

I got back in the boat and flipped immediately.  There was a woman and her small child feeding ducks on the dock.  They were looking at me like I was crazy.  I tried to ignore them, took a few deep breaths and tried to get back in the boat.  I was able to make it back down the shoreline.  I got better as the day wore on.  I probably paddled a couple of 30 minute stretches without flipping.  That, for me, was major progress.

I was out there for about six hours.  I took a couple of breaks so I actually only paddled for about five of those hours.  I was totally exhausted.  My legs and back were sore from trying to balance.  My arms, shoulders and upper back were tight from paddling.  But I felt good.

Sunday was the day we were going to take the Raptor out and train together.  We were expecting a day of flipping, getting back in, flipping and getting back in.  We got in and started to paddle.  To me, the Raptor felt like the fucking Titanic compared to the Rainmaker.  It still wobbled, but we didn't flip.  I was in back operating the foot pedals for the rudder; Robo was up front.  A couple of times it felt like we were going to go over.  I got a chuckle seeing Robo's reaction to that.  He would grab the gunnels like he was getting ready to jump ship, but then he would get the paddle back in the water real quick to try to stabilize.  For me, the larger wobbles were no big deal after the Rainmaker.  We paddled for about two hours.  We took a couple of breaks, but we never flipped.  Not once.  We had put 24lbs of ballast in the boat before we got started on advice for stability.  I don't know if it was the ballast or my experience from the day before, but we did really, really well.  At one point we had to cross the lake and there were some small waves, eight to ten inches tall.  We almost tipped, but we held it together.  We tried to pick up some speed a couple of times.  Our synchronicity wasn't there, but we were moving pretty good for a while there.  It felt awesome to glide through the water like that with a smooth, strong stroke in rythm.  I guess that's why people like the sport.

I think we should probably do another day on Town Lake in fairly easy conditions before moving up to anything else.  We should probably do a four to six hour cruise.  We need to take a plastic tandem kayak on the section of the San Marcos where the rapids are a couple of times before we risk our boat and we need to take the Raptor out on the bay too.  We also need to figure out the open water entry.  Long and short of it is, we've got a very, very long way to go, but we're getting there.

*  Post script:  At one point we came around a bend of the lake and heard a guy start shouting in a British accent about having fishing lines out.  We saw the lines stretched from the bank all the way across to the first supports under the a bridge.  He was screaming at us about the lines.  We tried to take evasive action but there was nothing we could do.  We tried to go under the lines and when we touched them some kind of a reel alarm went off.  We passed under two of the three lines and I don't know how we passed the third.  They guy was yelling at us to free the line from our boat, which there was no way we could do unless we went to shore.  Besides, I don't think we were hung up on his line anymore.  My immediate reaction was to feel bad about it, but I started thinking that the guy was imposing on everyone else on the lake by stretching his lines so far across.  There are tons of canoes, kayaks and motorboats on the lake.  What was the guy expecting?  Plus, the lines were practically invisible because they were clear monofilament.  As we paddled away the guy yelled, "Fucking idiots!!"  Robo lost it.  "How the fuck are we supposed to see these invisible fucking lines!!??  Do you want me to come over there and bash your fucking head in!!??"  I was even taken aback.  He screamed it like some Mongolian warrior or something and the sound had reverberated under the bridge which made it sound even more terrifying.  I looked over to the guy on the bank and he looked to the ground.  Robo's yell caused him to think better of it.  For good measure, I yelled a comparatively weak "Mick bastard!"

Training for the Texas Water Safari Part I: Baby Steps

Last Sunday in Austin my cousin and I started training for the Texas Water Safari.  We rented a tandem sit-on-top kayak on Lady Bird (formerly Town)

Lake

.  We learned the first of many lessons when we struck out at the first couple of places we tried to rent a boat.  We paddled 14 km in about 2-1/2 hours.  It was a good first workout.  We're going to have to work up to 6-8 hour paddles and we've got a lot of work to do on our paddling form.

We have been talking about what kind of boat we wanted to get for the race.  There's a lot to choose from with pros and cons for each.  One of the main things to consider is that the TWS is made up of three very different types of water:  fast flowing river with rapids, wide and deep slower flowing river and the bay.  That means you've got to have a boat that can handle all of those conditions.  Plus, there are a lot of considerations even among boats that could handle all three.  There's an inverse relationship between speed and stability.  The sit-on-top kayak that we rented was wide, slow and very stable.  It was also made of plastic, which compared to some of the other materials like fiberglass, kevlar and carbon fiber, is much heavier and slower.  There's also an inverse ratio between weight and durability.  Weight is significant for two reason.  First, the heavier the boat the slower it goes in the water.  Second, there are about 20 scheduled portages in the TWS where you have to carry your boat around dams or rapids or logjams.  So, the lighter the boat the easier to lift and carry, especially when you consider that you're going to have the weight of gear and supplies too.  But durability is important too because the first 85 miles of the course runs through rapids with rocks that could puncture or break a lightweight boat.  Plus, you paddle at night and you can't always see logs or other obstacles, even with the mandatory bow light.  So there are a lot of things to consider.

There are several manufacturers in

Texas

who make boats specifically for the Texas Water Safari and races like it.  John Bugge and Richard Steppe are veteran TWS racers who started out making boats for themselves that they could customize.  Bugge is also one of the most decorated TWS racers, having won the race numerous times in several classes.  Maybe the most prolific manufacturer of customized Safari canoes is Spencer Canoes.  Customized boats for the Safari are hybrids between canoes and kayaks.  They are very long and narrow with a wider middle.  I suppose the main difference between these boats and kayaks is the open hull.  This is an example of a Spencer solo boat called the Extreme.  Here's another example of the typical hull design of Safari class boats.

I have read a lot on boats in the past few weeks.  I think the best advice I ran across was from another Safari veteran, who won it last year in a 6-man boat.  He basically said to get the fastest and tippiest boat that you could stay in long enough to paddle and then graduate to narrower and faster boats when you learned how to stabilize.  Erin Magee, another decorated TWS veteran, listed several Safari style boats on the Texas Paddlers Forum for sale.  On Sunday, I called her about them.  I gave her our story and she immediately started giving me really helpful information.  Once she knew about us she recommended one of the boats she had for sale, a Spencer Raptor.  The Spencer Raptor is a 24 ft. long carbon/kevlar tandem racing canoe.  Here's the best picture I could find of a Raptor.  She agreed to meet us in

San Marcos

at

City

Park

to test out the boat.

We got there in the evening around 6:30 (after my Yoga class, which is a whole other post). 

Erin

was easy to spot - she was the one with the two long-ass canoes strapped to the top of her minivan.  I introduced myself and we unloaded the Raptor.  My first impression was that the boat was a little beat up.  It also looked a lot longer than I expected.  She talked to us for about an hour about the boat, the race, equipment etc.  I felt like I was trying to take a sip of water from a spewing fire hydrant as she was giving me all of this really good info.

I've also got to lay out the scene at San Marcos city park.  There were a couple of hundred people there so it was fairly crowded.  There was a crowd of 20-30 people right between us and the water.  The group looked like they probably participated in the Redneck Games a couple of weeks ago.  Rough.  Huge beer guts and long stringy mullets.  Shriveled women with tatoos.  They were all really, really drunk.  I saw one wiry Deliverance-looking guy with three or four fold up chairs over his shoulder weaving toward the parking lot.  He walked 50 yards to go 20.  You get the picture.  At one point, as Erin was trying to explain some technical aspect of the Safari, we got distracted by some commotion.  There was a dogfight.  One black dog had a deathgrip on another dogs neck and ear.  They were both growling and yelping like made and all of the people were screaming and shouting.  Several people tried to physically unlock the dog's jaws with no success.  After what seemed like forever, someone finally poured cold beer all over the face of the one dog and it let go.  Then a fight nearly broke out between the owners of the two dogs.  Imbeciles.

Once Erin had finished explaining everything we hoisted the boat and headed down to the water.  We got a lot of attention with our long strangely shaped canoe.  An army of grungy children swarmed us trying to hang on to the side of the boat or just touch it.  I was extremely annoyed.  Everyone in the park that day was a candidate for selective killing as far as I'm concerned.  I wasn't to thrilled about having an audience or having to dodge all of these fuckers.  We set the boat in the water and Erin steadied it as Robo and I got in the seats.  She let go and we pushed off - Splash!!  We tipped the boat over and we went into the water.  I surfaced and grabbed the side of the boat to keep it from getting away from us downstream.  There was no place to grab on the bank because of all of the people sitting there staring at us and drooling.  Plus, the boat was full of water and really heavy.  We finally floated down to a point where we could hold on.  We got back up on shore and tilted the boat up to drain all the water.  What an inauspicious beginning.  I thought we'd done something wrong.  I immediately blamed Robo for leaning too far to one side.  I mean, I had done nothing - I was just sitting there when the boat went over.  Erin muttered, "I've been here before."  Obviously talking about having seen this with the countless other people she's introduced to the sport.  I handed my wet cap, sunglasses and watch to my GF.  At that moment, I think, the full force of committing to the Safari took hold.  We got back in it and tried again; this time receiving some new instructions from Erin.  We lasted at least five minutes this time before we went over again.  The damn boat just wobbled like crazy.  We repeated that scene a half dozen times.  After getting dunked for the fourth time or so I was really frustrated and pissed off.  I didn't know what we were doing wrong.  I was just sitting there trying to balance.  The jeers from the mongoloids on the banks didn't help.  At one point this toothless Mexican kid floated really close to me right after we'd fallen over and we were trying to swim the boat back to shore so we could get back in.  He was less than three feet from me and in my way.  "Can I help you?" I asked.  "Can I help you?" he repeated.  "What?" I asked.  "What?" he said.  I glared at him.  "Is there a reason why you are so close to me?"  He must've sensed that I wasn't going to put up with this shit so he moved along.  Good thing too.  My strings were tight at that point.  I can't believe I didn't yell at the fat drunks who were making comments on the bank either.  God, the things I wanted to say.

Erin saw that we were struggling and she directed us to a shallow point in the river as she dove in and swam to it.  She held the bow of the boat and instructed us to use our paddles to stabilize ourselves when she tipped us one way or the other.  That, combined with just being in the boat and getting used to it allowed us to make some progress.  Toward the end, we were actually able to stay in the boat and paddle it for a while.  It still felt really tippy.

I had pretty much lost all confidence.  The prospect of paddling a river with hundreds of obstacles for 260 miles seemed impossible.  We couldn't even go 50 yards!  Erin suggested that she sit in the back of the boat with one of us in the front and paddle downstream and back.  I thought that was a great idea.  I at least wanted to feel like it was possible for the damned boat to stay upright.  I went first.  It was a completely different experience.  I paddled freely and the boat felt stable.  We hauled some ass down the river and then back.  I don't know what she did, but I never felt like we were going to go over.  Robo went next and had the same experience.

It was getting dark.  Most of the assholes in the park had gone home.  We lifted the boat out of the water and took it back toward Erin's van.  Robo and I talked it over.  I was really glad we'd made the run with Erin because my confidence had at least been partially restored.  We had to make a decision whether we were going to buy the boat.  Erin had already suggested to us that we get in a more stable boat and do the TWS for the first time in the Novice division.  There were boat size and type restrictions for that class, including no rudder and single blade paddles only.  But it would be our best chance, maybe ever, of competing for a class win.  In the end, we felt like we could master the boat given enough practice.  The boat was really fast.  Plus, we could always opt out for a more stable boat for our first time if we just couldn't get the hand of the Raptor.

We talked to Erin a little more about our options and finally told her that we wanted the Raptor.  She had to keep it to make a small repair on the gunnel for us, but the deal was done.  We gave her the money and thanked her and that was it.  Done deal.

We've got a huge task in front of us.  We had a huge task in front of us before learning how to stay upright in the boat became part of it.

Ojo Weighs In

Barry Bonds

Bonds is probably going to tie and break the all time home run record in the next few days.  I listen to the chatter on sports radio, mainly because Houston has no good radio stations, and I watch bits of Sportscenter almost every day.  I read sports news in newspapers and on the net.  The Bonds story has been front and center for most of the season.  Most writers and sportscasters agree that the story has been much more somber and subdued than it would otherwise be because of the steroids allegations.

1998's "Summer of Love," when Mark "I'm not here to talk about the past" McGuire and Sammy "No hablo ingles" Sosa were chasing the single season home run record, revived Major League Baseball.  The fans were weary from the strike of '94 and hadn't come back yet.  In 1998, in a rush of excitement, all was forgiven and fans came back in droves.  Owners took notice, league executives took notice, and players took notice.  Come to find out that the overwhelming likelihood is that both guys (and many others besides) were juicing.  The fans were betrayed.  Everyone believes Bonds took steroids and they're just not going to get excited about this record being broken.

I almost feel sorry for Barry Bonds, but not really.  He was a notoriously pompous asshole during the first 2/3 of this career.  He claims he never knowingly took steroids.  I believe that it could be willful ignorance at best.

I blame the leadership in Major League baseball.  And not just Bud Selig, who is a buffoon.  I blame the owners and the leaders of the players union.  It's a case of trying to control a problem by not controlling it and now it's gotten out of hand and it's too late.  Owners and execs in MLB wanted bigger, faster, stronger to sell tickets.  Players wanted the competitive edge just to make teams and then for glory and records.  The league needs to step up with a zero tolerance, random testing, often testing, reliable testing policy and the players' union be damned.  It's a real shame that somebody like Jason Giambi, who all but admitted to taking steroids in a sincere effort to come clean, nearly paid a huge price while guys like Bonds simply have to keep up the plausible deniability front.

Tour de France

I followed the Tour pretty heavily this year.  Have every year since Lance won his fifth in '03.  Cycling, and especially the Tour, is heavily influenced by European culture, so there's a lot I don't understand.  It appears that professional cyclists, especially those appearing in the Tour, are some of the most heavily tested athletes in the world.  So why are these guys risking their careers agains the long odds that they won't be caught?  Maybe in the past testing was so poor that everyone almost always got away with it?  Are they duped into believing that the new synthetic testosterone or EPO masking agent is undetectable?  Is the fame, money and glory just that seductive?

Whatever the reasons, the sport has definitely lost major credibility this year.  Maybe this is the year that things turn around.  It's a real shame - I enjoy the strategy of the race and the endurance and pain thresholds of these guys, but I hate having to watch it with the thought in the back of my mind, "Is this guy cheating?"

Houston Astros

What a disappointing season.  My first summer where I had access to tickets just about anytime I wanted them and no bar exam or mock trial academy to get in the way of going to games and the 'Stros lay a big egg.  Everyone pretty much agreed going into the season that the Astros had an outside chance of making the playoffs.  Everyone pretty much agrees at this point in the season that the 'Stros are one of the most underachieving teams in the league.  Having watched it all unfold, the reasons seem pretty obvious:

1. The starting pitchers acquired in the offseason were not as good as expected and certainly not replacements for Clemens and Petitte.  The Jennings trade was an abortion.  Not only is he horrible, we gave up way, way, way too much to get him.  Williams has been a little better.
2. The Biggio 3,000 hit chase has hurt the team.  Not in terms of being a distraction as much as forcing lineups that didn't give the team the best chance of winning.  Burke got jerked around because of the chase, and I don't think he's handled it all that well.  He certainly hasn't performed when he's had opportunities.  The chase did indirectly lead to the call-up of Pence, which has been the brightest spot of the season.
3. Luke Scott, Morgan Ensberg, Burke and Jason Lane have all had terrible seasons at the plate.  Berkman and Biggio have had down years.  Add in the offensive liabilities of Everett and Ausmus and it's pretty clear that this team's offense couldn't make up for the below average pitching staff.  I'm okay with Everett and Ausmus because of their defense and ability to call a game, respectively.  But those other guys have no excuse.  Well, Biggio's excuse is that he's old, so okay.
4. People have been calling for Purpura's head since the demise began.  I don't know.  Hard to grade a guy when players have performed well below their historical averages.  Jennings' decrease in value this season really hurts, but I'm not sure anyone could've foreseen just how bad it was going to be.  We need at least one more stud pitcher for next season - and I don't mean Wandy, Sampson or Albers.

Texas Longhorns

My brother Snake, who is one of the best Longhorn prognosticators out there, doesn't expect much this season.  But I do.  He sees holes in the offensive line and defensive secondary.  I think we've reloaded at O-line, but I am really concerned about the secondary.  Secondary is a bad place to be exposed.  And when Marcus Griffin is your best and most experienced returning DB, you've got real problems.  But, I'm optimistic about other guys stepping up.  I'm hopeful that what we've seen so far from Palmer, Beasley and Foster wasn't their best.  And I'm really looking forward to seeing Erick Jackson on the field.  Dude's a ball hawk who can lay the wood.  Our front seven is so good that I think our defense will be fine even if the secondary stinks.  We would just have to blitz every down so the QB doesn't have time to exploit our shitty DBs.

Offensively I just hope Colt is back to his early season form from last season.  He just wasn't the same after he hurt his neck against K-State.  Also don't know how Jamaal Charles is going to hold up as an every down back.  I am not impressed with Ogbannaya, so I hope Vondrell McGee or Foswhitt can surprise for some PT.  We have one of, if not the, best receiving corps in the country.  And please, God, let Jermichael be able to catch!!

I think we have a legit shot at the Nat'l Championship again this year.  Of course, the early season test against OU will dictate as usual.  Otherwise, the schedule sets up nicely for a run.